How Maria Montessori Impacted My Parenting

It is no secret that Maria Montessori's work greatly influences our homeschooling and that I find her educational method the top choice for my children. But Maria Montessori serves as an inspirational figure for more than education. Her beliefs, thoughts, and writing have impacted my parenting. As Maria Montessori wrote in "The Absorbent Mind," "The greatness of the human personality begins at the hour of the birth" (4). Today is Maria Montessori's 149th birthday, so I wanted to share with you how she has impacted my parenting.  

From the very moment of my first child's birth, I knew that I wanted to follow the principles of gentle parenting. I believe that gentle parenting meshes perfectly with the ideas of Maria Montessori. I wanted to meet my child's needs and be understanding when things seemed to be spinning out of control. I didn't want to punish my child for "bad behavior" or reward for "good behavior." I wanted to be empathetic towards my child, giving him secure comfort in the times he needed it, no matter the situation and no matter the age. I wanted to give my child respect for who he is, allowing him to feel his feelings, have his opinions, and make choices about his life.

After delving into Maria Montessori's work, I soon learned that the first six years of a child's life are formative. The child is in the period of the absorbent mind, with the first three years being the unconscious absorbent mind and the second three years being the conscious absorbent mind. From birth, showing the child respect is important. Even as a young baby, they need time and space to simply observe their surroundings. Montessori wrote, "The tiny child's absorbent mind finds all its nutriment in its surroundings" (97). The prepared environment serves even an infant well. Since the infant is in the state to observe what is around them, a beautiful, prepared, simple environment is part of a Montessori home. I did not start using Montessori in my parenting until my first child was over a year old, but when my youngest was born, we set up a simple movement area for her. I took the mattress from a pack n play that we never used, covered it with a sheet, and set it in front of a mirror.

As my children have passed through infancy into toddlers and now with my oldest being a preschooler, my parenting has evolved. The respect for them is central to my parenting. I try my very best to respond to them with empathy and understanding. I mean, some days are difficult. Some days, they try my patience. Some days, I raise my voice and feel frustrated with them. But I think that's natural. We can't expect parents to be perfect with their children all of the time, just as we cannot expect children to be perfect. We are human beings with flaws. But when we make a mistake with our children, we apologize and model that kind of social relationship with them.

That being said, being a Montessori parent means practicing gentle and respectful parenting. As Maria Montessori wrote, "The treatment of children should really be considered as a matter of social importance" (103). They are part of our lives and not an inconvenience. We serve as collaborators with them in their desire to be independent. We prepare the environment, and most importantly, ourselves, in order to help them navigate this world. We give them space and time to complete tasks, simple or complex. We allow them to observe, concentrate, or work for as long as they wish. We establish limits and boundaries when necessary. We show them empathy when they are having a hard time. We don't punish them, reward them, or give excessive praise.

Maria Montessori's wisdom has changed my parenting in so many ways. Yes, at the birth of my oldest child, I decided to follow gentle parenting principles. But parenting is difficult with so many muddy areas. There are so many opinions out there. Montessori's observations of children and her writings have helped me to carve out how I wanted to parent my children: with respect, empathy, and understanding; by giving them freedom within limits; by allowing them to make choices on their own; by providing an environment which is orderly, at their height, and meets their interests; by not punishing or rewarding; and by collaborating with them as they seek their independence.

By no means am I able to meet all of these principles on a daily basis. The best we can do is try, every single day. Every day is a new day. As parents, Maria Montessori has so many wise words to share. I highly recommend you read her books if you have some time.

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Montessori, Maria. The Absorbent Mind. Holt Paperbacks, 1995.

Why We Homeschool Year-Round

Our "official" start of the school year starts next Monday, August 26th. The only reason I chose a specific day to start the school year is to have a bit of a transition from one year to the next. But the reality is that we homeschool year-round. So why did we make that choice? I will discuss some of the reasons in this blog.

Learning never ends

A big reason why we homeschool year-round is because of this! Learning never, ever ends. Both children and adults are constantly learning something new every day. We can't really put homeschooling into a 9 month block. Even children who are not homeschooled are still learning throughout the summer. We may go a little slower in the summer, plan more outings during the nice weather, and use it for an opportunity to do different kinds of learning, but my children are still drawn to learning their letters, math, reading, writing, etc.


More time to cover the same amount of material

Homeschooling year-round allows us to cover the same amount of material in a longer time frame. This gives our children more time to master the material, more time to spend deepening their knowledge of that material, and more time to rest when needed. I set goals every year that we want to cover over the year, so having the full 12 months to do this allows us to meet (or exceed) those goals set out at the "beginning" of the year. We also do not need to spend any time reviewing material from the previous year as we just continue with what they are working on pretty seamlessly.



No school room

We don't have a room where we house all of our materials. We do school in our living room and dining room. Our materials sit on shelves in our living room. They are accessible 24/7, 365 days a year to our children. I don't want to pack up materials at the end of one school year and restore them at the beginning of the next. That makes no sense to me, especially after discussing the first point. This also means that we don't have a set school time, which is totally fine by me.


Flexibility

Our state requirements are pretty lax, and we don't even need to take official attendance until children are 7. That being said, we most likely fulfill the state requirements when it comes to the number of days that we homeschool. By homeschool year-round, we have the ability to take vacations or long weekend trips whenever we want, take breaks or have shortened weeks when necessary, and not worry so much if one of the children gets sick and is not interested in doing work for some time. Flexibility is one of the reasons that we chose to homeschool anyway, but it works out well for us to homeschool year-round.


Odd Schedule

My husband works shift work, which can change suddenly or, at the very least, every six months. Some shifts that he can potentially work would mean that he would never see our children if they were in traditional school. It is another reason that we chose to homeschool, but schooling year-round gives us the opportunity to really work with his schedule in such a way that our children still spend significant time with their dad, have family experiences, and have down time.

So those are the top reasons why we homeschool year-round. Do you homeschool year-round? Or do you have specific months that you use to homeschool? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Work Cycles in a Montessori-based Homeschool

I have talked in a previous blog about how we do not have a set "school" time. Instead, my children have access to their materials at any time that they are awake. Our homeschooling and open-ended materials are all located in our living room since we do not have space for a dedicated homeschool room. We do a lot of work on the couch, kitchen table, and the floor.

For a long time, I did not think that my son had a work cycle. I think I had some idea that because he wasn't consistently working the didactic materials for two to three hours at a time, his work cycle was non-existent. It was just recently, in the last month and a half actually, that I realized that he does have a work cycle. Since he is homeschooled, his work cycle looks a bit different than it would if he were in a Montessori classroom. I have since learned (thanks to the wonderful Aubrey Hargis of Child of the Redwoods) that a work cycle is when the child is in the same place for three hours at a time without interruption. During that time, the child has the freedom to choose from any of the available materials, do practical life or art, participate in gross motor or pretend play, seek out the guide for lessons, etc.

My mind was blown. Of course we have a work cycle! Since then, I have done by best to try to preserve a 2.5 to 3 hour time block at least five days a week somewhere within the day for a work cycle to occur. At home, this work cycle either occurs in the morning or the afternoon. For example, this morning we went to the park, came home to have lunch, and then put the baby down for a nap. After the baby was down for her nap, the work cycle began. I did nothing to prompt the cycle from starting. It just started on its own. We began by doing some math work, followed by map work and looking at the different flags of North American and Central American countries. Then we did some language work. Following this, my son played on his own doing some pretend play. He had a snack, listened to some music, and then worked on learning the different types of sharks. We spent a long time reading books before and after the baby woke up. He did some matching work of famous landmarks in North America. He had another snack and some water. Our work cycle ended when it was time to make dinner.

At that point, there was a significant interruption in the space. The kids are invited to help me make dinner, but usually they are playing together or listening to music.

I used to feel that a three hour work cycle was too long. But it happens without us even realizing it, in my opinion. We sometimes go through our work cycle in the morning and sometimes in the afternoon. The kids are free to also go outside during this time as well, if they want. Sometimes we have an entire work cycle outside at the local arboretum or a playground (social opportunities are becoming increasingly important to my son!). During a work cycle, I usually work on something of my own. I will read a book (yup!), prep materials for the following weeks, write down observations, give lessons, write, etc. I do not do households chores during this time because I want to keep myself available for lessons when needed (unless the children help with them as part of practical life).

I love that we have found a more natural rhythm to our days. Slowing down has helped us a lot and removing a lot of my own expectations that we needed to always have something to do. It's okay for us to have days of just being home. It's okay for us to have busy days. But a good balance of those helps us to find that rhythm and preserve that essential work cycle for my children's learning in the most important years of their life.

Do you do a work cycle in your homeschool? If so, how does it look?

DIY Land and Water Form Tablets

As I discussed before, my son really enjoys geography. We continue to talk about the continents daily, and I am working on putting together some continent boxes for him. That being said, I decided to introduce the land and water forms to him. We started with the book Water Land, which I checked out from our library (and renewed as much as I could!). I should probably just purchase the book.

I was not too sure if my son would enjoy creating the land forms on his own just yet, so when I saw a post from a Montessori 101 member about making land and water form tactile tablets, I knew I had to try it. My son really gravitates towards anything he can touch or trace, so these seemed perfect.

Here is what our DIY land and water form tablets look like:

A total of 10 tablets - from L to R, top row: isthmus, archipelago, island; middle row: strait, system of lakes, lake; bottom row: gulf, peninsula, bay, cape.

Materials:

• 10 small wooden tablets (I purchased them from Michael's for 99 cents each)
• Blue and brown felt 
• Hot glue gun and glue
• Scissors or rotary circle cutter 
• Sharpie marker

Steps:

1. Trace the tablets on the felt so you have 10 blue rectangles and 5 brown rectangles.

2. Glue the blue felt rectangles to each tablet with hot glue. To make this a bit easier on myself, I did a line on the wood, then laid the felt down on it. I made lines all down the wood, a few at a time, so that I could control where my felt went.

3. Trim any blue felt that overhangs the tablets (this step is optional, but it helped to square off any raggedy edges).

4. Free draw the land shapes on to the brown rectangles.
*Note: Each brown piece will be used for 2 blue tablets. For example, the lake and the island are opposites of each other, so I cut out the island and was left with the shape for the lake. This is where using a rotary circle cutter is extremely useful because I got cleaner lines.

5. Cut the shapes out of the brown felt and set aside.

6. Glue the brown felt pieces on top of the blue felt for each tablet. Trim any overhang from the brown felt.

7. You are finished! I went ahead and wrote the names of each on the back of each tablet for control of error and also for my own personal reference. I also made a control sheet on my computer with information on each land and water form!

This DIY cost me about $20 and only took me about 20-25 minutes to complete!

Enjoy and thank you to the member who inspired me to make these!

Geography for 3-year-olds

My son's favorite subject right now is definitely Geography. He loves everything about globes, maps, water, land, etc. We have spent countless hours with our two globes and talking about the Earth, exploring outside for dirt, mud, rocks, water sources, and pointing out the continents anywhere we see them.

When we first started homeschooling back in September, I purchased a sandpaper globe. I introduced it to my son and showed him the different land and water areas. He has always been a tactile learner and likes the feeling of fine sandpaper, so this intrigued him right away. He spent a lot of time tracing the land, telling me which part was land and which part was water.

After he had a good handle on the difference between land and water, I introduced him to the idea of air, land, and water. Luckily for us, the lesson landed on a rainy day, so we went outside and collected some rainwater in a small mason jar, as well as a sample of the muddy, grassy earth. We brought those inside and examined them, noting the differences between them. With these mason jars, my son did some sorting activities. The first one was a land, water, air picture sorting with just the various landscapes. This was not easy for him in the beginning.

Following that, he sorted land, water, and air animals onto a mat that I printed and laminated for him. He really loved doing this. My husband explained the simple idea that land animals walked, water animals swam, and air animals flew. We use Toob animals, which can be purchased on Amazon or at your local Michael's store. Following that, my son sorted land, water, air vehicles on to the same mat. We also used the vehicles from Toobs.


Once he had worked on these for a few weeks, I knew he would be ready for the Continent Globe. I introduced this to him using the Continent Song. In the beginning, he would follow along with me while I sang and point the continents. Now, a few months later, he sings the song all the time and knows all of the continents! He even knows them by their shape, even though they are all given separate colors on the Montessori Continent globe.

I also introduced him to the different land and water forms using the book Water Land and some DIY land and water form tablets. You can see the DIY instructions in this post.

Next up I think we will do some continent boxes once I get them together!

Montessori and Pinterest

It seems like everyone uses Pinterest. For everything. If you need to search for any idea, you go search there. I know that I use it all the time to look for things because I can easily curate a number of pins about a particular topic in a short amount of time, especially if I do not have time to read a bunch of websites at the moment. I can keep all of my pins in separate boards and go back to them without having to scroll through endless bookmarks. The same happened when I stumbled across Montessori. I may have even saw it first on Pinterest.

I can do a simple search on Pinterest for Montessori and get hundreds or thousands of pins about "Montessori activities." Herein lies the problem. These so-called "Montessori activities" may not actually align with Montessori. Since Maria Montessori never patented her method, anyone can claim that anything is "Montessori," even if it isn't. Many of the pins that are on Pinterest ARE authentic sources of true Montessori concepts, but so many more are not. This is where I think people get tripped up. Who really knows about the philosophy, and who is just creating activities which they believe align with the philosophy (but they actually don't)?

We live in this social media world where people put on this facade of perfection. This means that in the Montessori world, you see pictures of amazingly neat shelves and minimalist-type rooms, carefully created activities that children are supposedly doing independently, and parent-led activities on trays that seem to fulfill the idea of a "Montessori activity."

Montessori is so much more than that. The prepared environment is so important for the child, as well as the prepared adult. But looking on Pinterest for "activities" to keep the child busy is not the point of Montessori.

One type of "Montessori activity" that I see a lot on Pinterest are sensory bins. While they may have their place, it is more ideal for a child to get that sensory experience in the real world, especially when they are at home. I do not need to dye spaghetti noodles different colors and put them in the bathtub with my child to work on texture (plus, the mess it will make that I will need to clean up!). I do not need to put rice in a big container and hide things inside for them to find. I do not need to spray shaving cream all over the table for them to play in. All of this just creates a mess with zero purpose. It is not an authentic sensory experience, and the adult is the one who ends up cleaning up thousands of grains of rice from the floor after the child inevitably threw the cup (at least that is what my children would do).

So, how can a child get a real, authentic sensory experience?

Take them outside! Do you want to work on textures? Have them feel rough or smooth surfaces. Collect different rocks and sort them by texture, size, shape, etc. Play in the mud, dirt, sand, or grass. Do not be afraid to get dirty. Let them pour water from cups and the hose, water plants, dump water on themselves, dig for bugs or weeds, etc. Explore the crunchy leaves in the Fall and the cold snow in the Winter.

If you feel the weather is too bad to go outside, sensory experiences can happen inside as well. Cook and bake together, smell the spices (or be like my 3-year-old and actually taste the spices - yes, he asks "can I try it?" for almost every single one), let them wash their hands for a long time if that gives them joy, or take long baths. I am sure you can think of even more real, hands-on sensory experiences that are not part of those "Montessori activity" lists you see on Pinterest.

My Husband's Role in Homeschooling

 As a stay-at-home mom, I tend to do 90% of the homeschooling. My husband works shift work, so when he is home depends on his current schedule. His days off also vary, but he usually works on the weekends. That being said, he has a role in our homeschooling. As I have said before, homeschooling is not a set time of day, but instead is integrated into our life during many moments.

I actually asked my husband the other week what he thought his role in homeschooling was. His answer was that he made the money for me to buy supplies. While that is true, he has a very important function in our family as homeschoolers. I often observe him doing things that he may not even be aware that he is doing with our children, usually when I am busy doing something else.

My husband is knowledgeable in many areas that I am not, so we are able to guide our children in different areas as they come up. For example, my husband is an excellent mathematician. He is able to do math in his head about which I can only dream! Our son has showed a lot of interest in numbers lately, and I have caught my husband doing some counting work with our son without him even realizing he is doing it! We have different approaches to teaching and guiding, so our children learn in various ways. The other week, he did some kitchen work with our son - making jello, making pancakes, etc. Those are simple ways that he is involved which also integrate a key component of our homeschooling: practical life.

To be honest, my husband's biggest role in homeschooling right now is that he takes the baby for her nap every day after lunch. He works midnights, so he sleeps during the day. Our daughter naps for about 2.5 hours in the afternoon right now. By taking the baby for her nap, my son and I get crucial one-on-one time which is not only paramount to his education, but also to our bond. Sometimes we stay home during this time, but we often venture out of the house for a little bit. We can go to the library and explore, run some errands (yup, errands count as part of homeschooling! - socialization, math, language, etc.), go to the park, etc. We can obviously do this with the baby as well (and we do, a lot!), but having that one-on-one time is important for each child to have.

My husband serves a great role in our homeschooling of which he is not even aware. I am grateful of his support on this journey. He does not know much about Montessori - and what he knows is what I have told him. I do not expect him to sit down and read her books or learn about the teaching method. That is MY job. Having his support is the most important, but he teaches them without him even knowing! Isn't that cool? You can guide a child without even realizing it. And that, to me, is one of the quintessential concepts of homeschooling.