How Maria Montessori Impacted My Parenting

It is no secret that Maria Montessori's work greatly influences our homeschooling and that I find her educational method the top choice for my children. But Maria Montessori serves as an inspirational figure for more than education. Her beliefs, thoughts, and writing have impacted my parenting. As Maria Montessori wrote in "The Absorbent Mind," "The greatness of the human personality begins at the hour of the birth" (4). Today is Maria Montessori's 149th birthday, so I wanted to share with you how she has impacted my parenting.  

From the very moment of my first child's birth, I knew that I wanted to follow the principles of gentle parenting. I believe that gentle parenting meshes perfectly with the ideas of Maria Montessori. I wanted to meet my child's needs and be understanding when things seemed to be spinning out of control. I didn't want to punish my child for "bad behavior" or reward for "good behavior." I wanted to be empathetic towards my child, giving him secure comfort in the times he needed it, no matter the situation and no matter the age. I wanted to give my child respect for who he is, allowing him to feel his feelings, have his opinions, and make choices about his life.

After delving into Maria Montessori's work, I soon learned that the first six years of a child's life are formative. The child is in the period of the absorbent mind, with the first three years being the unconscious absorbent mind and the second three years being the conscious absorbent mind. From birth, showing the child respect is important. Even as a young baby, they need time and space to simply observe their surroundings. Montessori wrote, "The tiny child's absorbent mind finds all its nutriment in its surroundings" (97). The prepared environment serves even an infant well. Since the infant is in the state to observe what is around them, a beautiful, prepared, simple environment is part of a Montessori home. I did not start using Montessori in my parenting until my first child was over a year old, but when my youngest was born, we set up a simple movement area for her. I took the mattress from a pack n play that we never used, covered it with a sheet, and set it in front of a mirror.

As my children have passed through infancy into toddlers and now with my oldest being a preschooler, my parenting has evolved. The respect for them is central to my parenting. I try my very best to respond to them with empathy and understanding. I mean, some days are difficult. Some days, they try my patience. Some days, I raise my voice and feel frustrated with them. But I think that's natural. We can't expect parents to be perfect with their children all of the time, just as we cannot expect children to be perfect. We are human beings with flaws. But when we make a mistake with our children, we apologize and model that kind of social relationship with them.

That being said, being a Montessori parent means practicing gentle and respectful parenting. As Maria Montessori wrote, "The treatment of children should really be considered as a matter of social importance" (103). They are part of our lives and not an inconvenience. We serve as collaborators with them in their desire to be independent. We prepare the environment, and most importantly, ourselves, in order to help them navigate this world. We give them space and time to complete tasks, simple or complex. We allow them to observe, concentrate, or work for as long as they wish. We establish limits and boundaries when necessary. We show them empathy when they are having a hard time. We don't punish them, reward them, or give excessive praise.

Maria Montessori's wisdom has changed my parenting in so many ways. Yes, at the birth of my oldest child, I decided to follow gentle parenting principles. But parenting is difficult with so many muddy areas. There are so many opinions out there. Montessori's observations of children and her writings have helped me to carve out how I wanted to parent my children: with respect, empathy, and understanding; by giving them freedom within limits; by allowing them to make choices on their own; by providing an environment which is orderly, at their height, and meets their interests; by not punishing or rewarding; and by collaborating with them as they seek their independence.

By no means am I able to meet all of these principles on a daily basis. The best we can do is try, every single day. Every day is a new day. As parents, Maria Montessori has so many wise words to share. I highly recommend you read her books if you have some time.

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Montessori, Maria. The Absorbent Mind. Holt Paperbacks, 1995.

Why We Homeschool Year-Round

Our "official" start of the school year starts next Monday, August 26th. The only reason I chose a specific day to start the school year is to have a bit of a transition from one year to the next. But the reality is that we homeschool year-round. So why did we make that choice? I will discuss some of the reasons in this blog.

Learning never ends

A big reason why we homeschool year-round is because of this! Learning never, ever ends. Both children and adults are constantly learning something new every day. We can't really put homeschooling into a 9 month block. Even children who are not homeschooled are still learning throughout the summer. We may go a little slower in the summer, plan more outings during the nice weather, and use it for an opportunity to do different kinds of learning, but my children are still drawn to learning their letters, math, reading, writing, etc.


More time to cover the same amount of material

Homeschooling year-round allows us to cover the same amount of material in a longer time frame. This gives our children more time to master the material, more time to spend deepening their knowledge of that material, and more time to rest when needed. I set goals every year that we want to cover over the year, so having the full 12 months to do this allows us to meet (or exceed) those goals set out at the "beginning" of the year. We also do not need to spend any time reviewing material from the previous year as we just continue with what they are working on pretty seamlessly.



No school room

We don't have a room where we house all of our materials. We do school in our living room and dining room. Our materials sit on shelves in our living room. They are accessible 24/7, 365 days a year to our children. I don't want to pack up materials at the end of one school year and restore them at the beginning of the next. That makes no sense to me, especially after discussing the first point. This also means that we don't have a set school time, which is totally fine by me.


Flexibility

Our state requirements are pretty lax, and we don't even need to take official attendance until children are 7. That being said, we most likely fulfill the state requirements when it comes to the number of days that we homeschool. By homeschool year-round, we have the ability to take vacations or long weekend trips whenever we want, take breaks or have shortened weeks when necessary, and not worry so much if one of the children gets sick and is not interested in doing work for some time. Flexibility is one of the reasons that we chose to homeschool anyway, but it works out well for us to homeschool year-round.


Odd Schedule

My husband works shift work, which can change suddenly or, at the very least, every six months. Some shifts that he can potentially work would mean that he would never see our children if they were in traditional school. It is another reason that we chose to homeschool, but schooling year-round gives us the opportunity to really work with his schedule in such a way that our children still spend significant time with their dad, have family experiences, and have down time.

So those are the top reasons why we homeschool year-round. Do you homeschool year-round? Or do you have specific months that you use to homeschool? I'd love to hear your thoughts!